The first time I ever did stand up was when I was 15 years old. At first I would only do about fifteen to twenty open mics and bringer-shows a year because I didn’t have a driver’s license, therefore my incredibly supportive mother was forced to drive me everywhere (also for legal reasons, you can’t have an unsupervised 15 year-old bastard running around a bar).
All of my jokes had to do with high school, poop, my penis (“I am currently going through puberty, so right now I’m between small penis and slightly larger small penis”), but despite this I thought I was The Shit.
I just found a website that had a comedy profile that I had made when I was 17, which includes a brief bio that I wrote about myself.
My complete lack of self-awareness while writing this has given me so many douche-chills, I may now have douche-pneumonia. Here it is, unedited, I am so fucking sorry.
“Blake is a 17 year old comic from the Philadelphia area, who embarked on his comedy odyssey after taking a stand up comedy class in November of 2004. Blake was a sophomore in high school when he first got on stage. Blake had to take a break from comedy due to rigors of school work, but returned to comedy in May of 2005. He has been hooked ever since.
It’s not often you see someone Blake’s age (or any age for that matter) with the writing skills and delivery that Blake already possesses. Blake’s teenager point of view is rare and adds a nice twist on the shows that he performs on. Blake uses mostly clean material, with some immaturity sprinkled in. Blake’s jokes come from his experiences at school, his battles with puberty, and his young point of view on society.
Blake is not just a high school student, but a student of the comedy industry as well. With each show he improves, and with each show his need for attention grows. Thanks to Blake’s growing talent, attention isn’t too hard to come by these days.
Blake has recently expressed an interest in acting. He is now on file at a major casting agency in Philadelphia. Places that Blake has performed at are his high school, Spaghetti Warehouse, Champps, Helium Comedy Club, The Draught Horse, Bar Noir, Gotham Comedy Club, Rascals Cherry Hill, Comedy Cabaret NE Philly, The Philadelphia Comedy Cafe, and Aaron’s Comedy Cafe.”