Monthly Archives: September 2014

My Bizarre Twitter Conversation with Guster and The Olive Garden


Tweeted this, thought it was way funnier than anyone else did.

Guster Rhymes 1

Then Guster saw the tweet and immediately recognized how genius my idea was.

Guster Rhymes 2

Now that myself and Guster have committed to this revolutionary project, we just need the help of one more man. As if billions of dollars aren’t good enough motivation, Guster decided to sweeten the pot.

Guster Rhymes 3

Free pasta from one of the world’s most respected Italian bistros. God damn this is getting good.

Guster Rhymes 5

Holy shit, a 4th party throws their marinara-stained hat into the ring!  Olive Garden has pledged herself to the musical revolution! Don’t mess this up for us Busta Rhymes, you fast-talking motherjumper.

Guster Rhymes 6

Not sure what this means, but I can’t help but sense a hint of eroticism.

Westboro Baptist Church Doesn’t Get My Twitter Joke

Screen shot 2014-09-04 at 9.47.45 AMRecently The Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest various media outlets. The idea of calling it a “tour” was  hilarious to me, so I wrote this half decent-tweet (I give it a 6).

The fucking idiots shit over at The Westboro Church some how saw it, and of course totally didn’t pick up on the fact that I was making fun of them.

Screen shot 2014-09-04 at 9.48.16 AM

And then that tweet was allegedly retweeted by Fred Phelps’ dumb ass son.

Screen shot 2014-09-04 at 9.48.50 AM

I’m not going to respond to any of it because that’s their whole goal, but here’s a link to one of my favorite things that have ever happened on the internet, when Margie Phelps tweeted about how Steve Jobs was going to hell from her iPhone.