“Happy Birthday Idiot”


I turned 26 on Monday, and received tons of very kind wishes from my friends and family. However, I also received a lot of vicious messages from people too and those were easily my favorites. Here are some of the best instances of how the people closest to me chose to wish me a happy birthday:


“Happy birthday you gutless scoundrel.” –David Tveite, comedian/known asshole

“Is this your real Birthday or is Facebook full of shit?” –Erik Allen, comedian

“Happy birthday Picker. Wish I coulda made your pig-joiner the other night…” –Chris Fleming, comedian (not mean, just really bizarre)

“Have a shitty day you fuckin asshole” –Greg, very close friend and former college roommate

“Happy birthday idiot” –Kevin, childhood best friend

“Whatever” –Yassir Lester, comedian (the lack of punctuation was the most devastating part of this)

“Id say “happy birthday”, but you deserve neither of those things.” –Eshan, roommate and best friend

“Dude no one gives a fuck.” –Don Zollo, comedian

“YOU GOT AIDS YO!” –Jono Zalay, comedian

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